Author: Pearl

Do you need people because you are lonely?
Are you lonely?
Do you fear being lonely?
Do you condemn people who are happy alone? (happy without you)?

Every soul in the world drama is separate individual. We all are lonely. This is the truth. The question is how you are – sad lonely or happy lonely? Confused lonely or crystal lonely? Crying alone or meditating alone? Lonely with crowd around or poised and focused lonely? Blessed lonely or scared lonely?

We are so accustomed having people around or living in clusters that we have almost lost sight of our individual and independent nature of bliss. Fear of being alone scare a few people so much that they even try to somehow just fit in the platforms of social media no matter how irrelevant it feels. I have seen people condemning people who are happy without them just because they themselves are scared of being left behind alone. I have heard of people who feel so uncomfortable alone in their own houses that they switch on tv for whole day whether they are watching it or not so that they hear some noise, else they feel scare lonely. People try to avoid their inner voice (because they do not understand it). And, so to forget about themselves they do all sort of activities – from window shopping to watching tv to mindless eating to spending time with unknown people on social media or working extra hours even when it is not required, just so that they do not feel lonely. All these activities may engage you, nothing wrong in window shopping but those will not fill your inner emptiness. This understanding is important.

Loneliness is an inner vacuum and it’s a waste to try to fill it with external experiences. Avoiding being alone simply means that do not like your own company. Why so? Because you do not love or like your own self. Once you learn to accept and love yourself, a sense of contentment, self-esteem and self-dependency will fill your heart. You will start recognising your own talents, capabilities and self-worth. With that you will start feeling comfortable with yourself and the fear of loneliness will disappear. (High chances you will start attracting more people around as positivity attracts more souls).

Once you gain convinced ease with who you are, the need for external approval, the desire to acquire external acceptance, the urge to be surrounded by people diminishes miraculously.

Months back I read a short story:
After an extensive and tiring journey, a king reached a treasured healer in a tiny town set in the difficulties of a big mountain.
“Why don’t you live in one of the populated metropolises?” The visitor asked.
“Because I like it here,” the healer said.
“But, it’s so distant!”
“Distant from who?”, asked the healer with his simple innocence, revealing, the more one is in touch with the self, the less one feels the need to be in touch with others. The one who basks in the bliss of solitude dives in the inner ocean of equanimity. Such a person is never far from the self. And When you are close to yourself, you don’t feel lonely. And as you start enjoying your own company, you will love people around you and not need them.

Helping people lead happy lives.
-Nileema Jhunjhunwala