Category: Love

How to make them respect you?

‘Nowadays no one is real friend, all of them are mean. She does that. He says that’, it’s very common to hear these words among family groups and friend circles. The one complaining is not noticing that these lines suggest they are not being respectful towards the person they are talking about. And, one of the most important elements of any strong relationship is respect… mutual respect. While mutual affection is important too, I really believe a relationship devoid of passionate love can still be saved but virtually it is not possible to continue with a relationship lacking mutual respect.

I emphasis on adjective “mutual”. It has to be from both sides. If you believe somebody is not worth your respect or the other person believes that you are not worth respect, what’s point of staying in relationship with that person. And, if you think they don’t deserve to be respected as you are richer, smarter, bigger or better, you don’t deserve that relationship anyways. In both the cases complaining is futile.

Respect does not only mean how we talk to a person or behave in public or certain social set up. Respect also includes how we think about that person. And, it is more important than talking. Our relationship does not depend on how we behave but also on how we think about them is equally or I would say more important. Vibrations follows thoughts and the kind of thoughts we create for the other reaches to them in form of vibrations and one can feel it really deep. Have you ever felt really nasty and uncomfortable in presence of some person all though apparently that person is behaving well within the socially acceptable norms? Have you ever felt like I did so much for that person, so many gifts, such nice appreciating words but our relationship is not that good? Check what you were thinking inside while you were doing all the things outside. Have you ever cooked and served unwillingly with a fake smile, thinking ‘why did he came this point of time? Oho, now I have to cook. People don’t even see time these days before self-inviting themselves. I wish they go fast and do not plan a stay over.’? If this is the quality of thoughts we create, what kind of relationship can we really expect? And then, we say, see I did so much for them but they don’t even bother to say a thank you. And the vicious cycle of thoughts goes on, ‘nowadays no one is ……….’

I completely understand there are a few people who are really thankless and go around believing the world owes them something. We for sure cannot really expect mutual respect from them and hence no real relationship will be developed. No expectations there but once in a while doing an introspection is really helpful.

I strongly believe in law of karma and understand that eventually we receive what we give. In order to receive we must be willing to give first. Be it a romantic relationship, professional one or a friendship mutual respect will make it stronger, deeper and more meaningful.

In a seminar a sage asked, “who all wants to know how to make their partners respect them?” Audience raised their right hands tall, unanimously. The sage said, “Give respect”.

-Nileema Jhunjhunwala

Role play is important for your child’s holistic development

While searching for a right nursery for my three-year-old kid, lately I noticed almost all day-care, pre-school and early education centres have a costume box and role play stations. We all loved playing role play during our childhood, remember?

It is a known fact that children love role playing. They’ll pick get-ups, create dialogue, and use their toys or household items to create characters. Children will pretend to be almost anything they enjoy being. This process of taking on roles and discovering new identities is an important part of their personality and coherent development.

In our family and professional lives, when we need to think about a problem in our own way or understand other’s perspective, we sit back quietly and give it a thought. But how do we create objective thoughts? What tools we use to think differently, from an unbiased perspective?  People do have different perspective. Understanding how other could think is a logical skill, just like any other skill that can be honed, and the sooner it is introduced, the more beneficial it will be in child’s development. Playing a role is like ‘asking yourself’ how others might feel or reply or counter act in a particular situation.

Children enjoy it as a game but if you pay attention, you will find that they are using their understanding and trying to comprehend how the other person will think and react. This type of game includes applying emotional and logical intelligence and thus will help children be more reasonable, tactful and empathetic as they evolve. Not only this, role play also helps children in making career choices. Although we must never push a kid to make a haste decision and also not necessarily, they will become what role they assume while playing as kids, it helps them gauge their potential and makes them aware of possibilities in future.

They love playing doctors, pilots, teachers and many more, though mostly it has been found that children like to play doll-house or Kitchen-set the most in role play games.

Because home and family are the heart of human collaboration (interaction). They use their families, books and illustrations to make sense of what it means to be a ‘mamma’ or ‘papa’. These are not just games but an understanding, an experience that will stay with them for a long time and shape their relationships in coming future. Playing house or festivals with children from different cultural background and different family set up can serve to expand their meaning and expectations of the term ‘family’. The idea will help them have inclusive group, where they treat each other with equality and empathy despite of their gender or religious preferences. In this pretending play, kids reconnoitre what it’s like to be a contributing member of a family and understand family dynamics in a play way. And this, shapes their perception and idea of a happy family/society.

If you ask me, I love playing kitchen sets with my kid. It is a delightful and satiating experience to watch your little one pretend to prepare a dish or bake a cake for you. Cooking is a survival skill that is important regardless of your child’s gender. These small role plays based on household chores help them to assume responsibilities, understand self-control as an adult and shape a well-managed future for them.

Helping people lead happy lives. – Nileema Jhunjhunwala

Writing Skills – Positive Activity

Vacations are great time for kids to explore new activities. Enhancing writing skills is one such activity. You can encourage your child to start writing a journal or take up creative writing. I want to encourage children to write. Your child can benefit from journal writing in many ways, so go ahead and encourage them to start writing today.

Writing is a great way for children of all ages to learn who they are, what are their likes and dislikes, their interests as well as their thoughts and feelings.

These can help your child start journaling:

1) Gift your child a journal (diary, writing pad or notebook) of his own. And give the right to use as she wishes. Emphasize that the journal belongs to her and she can write whatever she wants, whenever and wherever she wants. Let her write freely. Let her put stickers if she wants.

2) Help your child write a life-book. If your child isn’t interested in journaling about herself, ask to consider writing a family journal or a log of a travel story.

3) For a very young child, a picture journal can be an easy start! You can support her by asking questions about what she did that day, then suggest writing something interesting that reminds her of that day.

4) Ask the child to write a thank you letter to help them learn journaling. Along with writing this way, it will also develop a significant sense of gratitude.

5) Give her the list of writing topics. Given here or any other interesting ideas, let her choose the topic that fascinates her the most and she starts writing!

  • If you could go anywhere in the world, on summer vacation, where would you go? And why?
  • Make a list of groceries that you think are essential for you.
  • Tell us about an animal that you would like to keep with you as a pet.
  • What is something that you would like to know more about?
  • Tell us about your favourite book and author.
  • What do you like about yourself and why?
  • Make a list of the things you are most grateful for in your life.
  • What would you like to say to the President of our country?
  • If you find a magic wand, what will you do with it?
  • Write a poem about your happiest memories.

Keeping a journal is a fun way for kids to develop writing skills at home. Apart from this, there are many ways which help in developing the intellectual and creative skills of the child. In case your child doesn’t like to write, leave it for a while and try something different. It might be more interesting for your child to talk about books or tell an oral story right now. Just offer a few different ideas and let your child writer make her own decision.

May you have a wonderful vacation filled with joy, love and laughter and yes, keep writing….

(Hindi Version of this article has been published in Indian esteemed daily. Read at – Pearl in Media )

Helping people lead happy lives -Nileema Jhunjhunwala

All thoughts & beliefs expressed on my websites are based on my perspective and my own understanding of the knowledge.

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