How to make them respect you?
‘Nowadays no one is real friend, all of them are mean. She does that. He says that’, it’s very common to hear these words among family groups and friend circles. The one complaining is not noticing that these lines suggest they are not being respectful towards the person they are talking about. And, one of the most important elements of any strong relationship is respect… mutual respect. While mutual affection is important too, I really believe a relationship devoid of passionate love can still be saved but virtually it is not possible to continue with a relationship lacking mutual respect.
I emphasis on adjective “mutual”. It has to be from both sides. If you believe somebody is not worth your respect or the other person believes that you are not worth respect, what’s point of staying in relationship with that person. And, if you think they don’t deserve to be respected as you are richer, smarter, bigger or better, you don’t deserve that relationship anyways. In both the cases complaining is futile.
Respect does not only mean how we talk to a person or behave in public or certain social set up. Respect also includes how we think about that person. And, it is more important than talking. Our relationship does not depend on how we behave but also on how we think about them is equally or I would say more important. Vibrations follows thoughts and the kind of thoughts we create for the other reaches to them in form of vibrations and one can feel it really deep. Have you ever felt really nasty and uncomfortable in presence of some person all though apparently that person is behaving well within the socially acceptable norms? Have you ever felt like I did so much for that person, so many gifts, such nice appreciating words but our relationship is not that good? Check what you were thinking inside while you were doing all the things outside. Have you ever cooked and served unwillingly with a fake smile, thinking ‘why did he came this point of time? Oho, now I have to cook. People don’t even see time these days before self-inviting themselves. I wish they go fast and do not plan a stay over.’? If this is the quality of thoughts we create, what kind of relationship can we really expect? And then, we say, see I did so much for them but they don’t even bother to say a thank you. And the vicious cycle of thoughts goes on, ‘nowadays no one is ……….’
I completely understand there are a few people who are really thankless and go around believing the world owes them something. We for sure cannot really expect mutual respect from them and hence no real relationship will be developed. No expectations there but once in a while doing an introspection is really helpful.
I strongly believe in law of karma and understand that eventually we receive what we give. In order to receive we must be willing to give first. Be it a romantic relationship, professional one or a friendship mutual respect will make it stronger, deeper and more meaningful.
In a seminar a sage asked, “who all wants to know how to make their partners respect them?” Audience raised their right hands tall, unanimously. The sage said, “Give respect”.
-Nileema Jhunjhunwala
